Conquering the Beast


All RPF stalkers, I mean Spies, should read this. Chain I am sorry if you see this.

Hello ACP and Merry ChristmasI am here to tell you a tale, a tale of magic, war, hatred, and a monster most foul. This monster goes by many names although you might recognize him as a beast named Chainpro. I am here to tell you a the tail of Chainpro and how he came to be.

Long ago I was on a mission in Rebel Penguin Federation lands. We were there to study the behavior patterns and culture of this strange, hideous species. After intensive study we found that this species reaches peak mental maturity at ten human years and has comparable intellect to a human of that age; physically though, this species resembles a twenty year old human. RPF live in colonies with the leader of a colony being called “El Micky” which communicates to his slaves through his guards or “leaders” in there language. After five months studying their behavior peacefully and calmly me and my fellow researcher were ambushed by a pack of RPF slaves. We were bound and gagged and taken for judgement in El Micky’s palace.

After being dragged through the great, cavernous structure we arrived in the throne room, apon the wall there were six seats which sat El Micky’s guards. One was a tall thin man sipping a drink, there was a tattoo on his arm which I could barely see but was shaped like a heart, I recognized him to be Silverburg. Across from him was an obese man who was currently stuffing his face, this was non other then Chip. I could hardly recall  the next three mens they were unremarkable, but the man in the final chair I could tell apart from the rest, this was because he was hardly a man at all. This person I would guess to be 11 years of age and before he opened his mouth I knew this to be Lord Pain. “I DON’T LIKE THEM DADDY! KILL THEM NOW, I SAID KILL THEM NOW DADDY!!!” Pain shrieked foaming from the mouth. El Micky raised a hand and he silenced.


^^^ (El Micky Giving birth to RPF slaves) ^^^

El Micky chanted something and the slaves behind us evaporated into thin air. “They are called mulitlogs, aren’t they beautiful?” El Micky said, “Now which one of you is responsible for trespassing on my land?” I meekly stepped forward. “For being present on my land you shall suffer,” El Micky spoke. “YES MAKE THEM SUFFER DADDY,” Pain continued still foaming. El Micky rose from his chair, cracked his knuckles, and then shot a bolt pure black and green magic at me.

The pain I felt was unimaginable, it was if I were being ripped in two and in a way I was. El Micky’s magic separated the evil from me and made it into a person, and thus Chainpro was born. My fellow researcher from the Army Republic lost control of herself, she released all of her magic and went in a state now called “Super Sai-en”. My friend went from a blonde haired and average height women to a 7 foot tall heavily muscled Minotaur. “MOOOOO” she howled, she then pounced on the nearest RPF.

(I was going to have a picture here but when I googled “female Minotaur” I got furry fan art AKA what Elm draws for a living)

I stood up, only for my new born twin to jump on my back. I was in such great pain that I could hardly fight back. El Micky was summoning multilogs, Sai was formidable but I knew she could not fight them all. I kicked Chainpro in the jaw and scurried over to untie my archer Noka, my own bounds were burned off by El Micky’s magic. Chainpro tried to grab me but a fist from the Minotaur sent him into a wall. Noka was freed, he took our his pistol and fired a shot; it went right into El Micky’s heart.

The silence that followed was broken by Pain shrieking, and then vomiting on himself. El Micky’s corpse exploded as his ego escaped. Me and my team ran for the exit as the explosion expanded, I saw Chain following, if he made it I will never know.


^^^(RPF ego explosion)^^^

We escaped just as the palace collapsed in on itself. Me and Noka returned to ACP land and Sai and the other AR researchers returned to theirs. I settled down in Breeze waiting for the day that Chainpro would return, if he ever does. My tale is over now but the battle with RPF is not, with that I bid you farewell.


Thank you for your time -Chuck Falay (3ic)

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